Die Fotografie aus meinem Urlaub in Deutschland

Germany is a beautiful and wondrous country and everything they do is a million times better than the UK. I have compiled the following list illustrating some of the things that I noticed (scroll down for photos)…

• Older people are valued and catered for as much as younger people
• They have skinny legs and arms but big round pot bellies, a similar body shape to that of a frog
• There are no tramps but twice on the train I encountered elderly members of the community that had appeared to have urinated upon themselves
• There are no chavs or pikeys or anyone slobby looking, in fact, everyone seems to take great pride in their appearance
• They don’t stare at you and are fully accepting of anyone that looks slightly different
• There is booze everywhere but no drunk people, unless they are drunk all the time and I just can’t tell the difference
• The men have no shame in wearing spandex leggings
• Their children when crying, sound like creaking doors
• Black and mustard appears to be an extremely popular colour choice of attire
• They feed plain spaghetti with passata on top to their children
• All food is served with some kind of potato-based side, mostly fries or boiled potato
• They love sausage, white sausage, blood sausage, liver sausage, curry sausage, smoked sausage, sausage in the shape of white mice, it appears that anything goes when it comes to sausage
• All the fruit and veg in the supermarket is 100% more tastier and fresher than the UK, even the discount budget stuff
• There is a distinct lack of wildlife, I think perhaps because all the creatures are hiding in the surrounding forests
• The slugs are ginger
• There appears to be some kind of ginger slug versus black beetle war going on in the Black Forest, I kept seeing beetles feasting upon the slugs then crawling off and dying upside down on their backs
• They like using life size doll mannequins to advertise things
• There are more designated dog water bowls than actual dogs
• Their umbrellas are a considerately more watertight than the UK
• They love the track ‘So Lonely’ by The Police
• I didn’t see one cat apart from on the last day when I caught a glimpse of a white one that lived in the apartment below
• The toilet doors are illustrated with depictions of men and women or male/female phenomena that is often hard and confusing to figure out which door leads to what
• Bicycle helmets are protected with some kind of special sack
• They have a super efficient recycling system that involves lobbing plastic bottles over the top of the supermarket cashiers head into a skip behind them

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